YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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