I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
