I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The Olympian is in my bed
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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