So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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