I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
