My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you never un-have a 4some
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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