it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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