covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
