you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
