I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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