I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
