Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
