I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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