Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Couch. On fire.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
