Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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