so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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