I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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