He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
