we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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