he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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