Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
