i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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