KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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