While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
