And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize