I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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