Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
