whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
