I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize