it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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