I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
