I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
