Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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