Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
