Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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