He kissed a someone with a penis
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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