i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize