before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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