Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We're facebook friends in real life
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
