Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
