let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
