we have pet lesbian snakes
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
