I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It was confusing and full of hummus
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
