We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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