oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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