dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When are your genitals available?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
