Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
