So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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