My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
