:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
