Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize