the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
