she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
