So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
