Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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