Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
as a side note pls kill me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize