508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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