he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
