Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
