hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
