i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize