I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
