So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Green mimosas i think yes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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