He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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