I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
